When Things Fall Apart…
I have a stone near my bed that is engraved with this important message:
When Things Fall Apart They Are Falling Into Place
This is my mantra this early summer season. In March I was overjoyed with the anticipation of the third cottage build next to Grace and Gratitude. It would hold a space where we could have some events, a lovely apartment for short or even mid-term renting and a place where I might live and rent to be close to the work at Kumari of the Woods.
We managed to get started with our timber framer who designed and raised the frame for Gratitude and the site was cleared and ready for the foundation work. However, our financing could not get secured and by early June we still had nothing optimistic in place.
Our broker did all he could and he brought in a second broker who understood better about these developments. It had a lot to do with our permit from our town and the way the site was surveyed and laid out. Quickly this past week it became clear that this was not happening this building season.
It caused me to pause and give myself permission to feel the sadness in my body. When we anticipate something with great joy and we suddenly see it falling apart and we cannot put it back together, it raises that feeling of failure within us.
I am a grief coach and I support clients in their feelings of loss and recovery. When something ends, it can be the beginning of a new life or opportunity. But often we feel too stuck, too angry, too resentful to allow something new to find us.
We bury our heads and are unwilling to take a pause, regroup our lives and aspirations.
So much of these past six years have been about Kumari of the Woods for me. I wanted to keep going. Bring guests here and have the chance to offer more events in the arts and wellness.
Instead the work of this summer will be my self-reflection. This will allow me to understand myself better and deepen my own healing practice. The more I learn about the journey of hope and healing, the better I can serve the clients I cherish so much.
That third cottage was going to be where I could land, find quiet, write more, work more in private while building out programs and classes for our forest home. Hanging onto that dream was powerful and now, letting it go is a further testimony to the name it was going to have: Patience.
Everything I teach my clients about manifestation is what I am learning again and again in my life. These are challenging lessons but as I pause I remind myself why Kumari of the Woods is so important. It is a place of deep rest. It is a place where one day we will offer more guest spaces and most certainly classes and workshops on a daily basis.
We are being intentional about each building and allowing designs to emerge with great thought to the reasons why we believe relaxation happens among the trees. The language of the forest is that dark silence. Even when the sunlight sparkles through the foliage, there is that canopy of greens that invites a silent walk.
On the days this week when I knew we had to wait another year to keep going, I took my heavy heart outside. As I stood near Grace and Gratitude I knew their place in this build took a very long time, many headaches, stressful days and what emerged were two sisters holding the space for others one day to follow.
While we search for the right investors who understand our vision, I continue to believe Things Are Falling Into Place.
kumari patricia